The world is as big

as you allow it to be.

First things first.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Did you come to last month’s Forest Walk? This month I’m hosting a mini retreat in my backyard! Julia is going to teach us a little bit about the practice of yoga (and there will be snacks + time for reflecting + goodie bags). Will you join us? Make sure to reserve your spot, ASAP. We have room for 10 people.

Start with a beginner’s mind.

Maybe you want to shed old patterns at this time in your life, or need a change of scenery, or want to end something completely. But how? If it were easy, wouldn’t you have done it by now? Recently, I was reminded of a beginner’s mind - looking at something as if you’ve never seen it before.

For the last few years, I’ve been trying something new. Dating. More specifically, online dating. It’s just as [fill in the blank] as you think. It is equal parts delightful and horrific - a mixed bag.

I don’t have much experience with dating in general. I had a high school boyfriend and a college boyfriend; then I was married and divorced. If you want to practice courage, try dating in your middle age.😆

With any new thing, challenges present themselves. It helps to look at them with fresh eyes. Here’s what I’m considering:

• I’m not the same person I once was, so I need to check in about what “rules” I’ll use to navigate new territory.

• Each human is different, and meeting new people offers learning opportunities.

• I don’t have many friends at the same place and time as me, which helps me practice trusting my gut about decision-making.

• I’m trying to figure out what my middle-aged adult self thinks about sexuality, attachment styles, texting, small talk, time frames, relationships, “situationships,” and friendships - each experience helps me understand my middle-aged adult self more fully.

• I can change my mind about how to proceed at any time. Full stop.

It has been a lot of trial and error. But I’m not sure how else to reach a measure of success without failing forward. And the more I try, the more specific I get about what I’m looking for. It’s like when I was a teacher, we used the protocol: what did you think first, what did you learn, and what do you think now?

A beginner’s mind allows for growth and change. But I wasn’t able to conceptualize it at first because…

1. I was afraid to change.

What once worked may not work anymore. I often receive either or both of these pieces of advice: Have an open mind. Set boundaries. They are the hardest words to live by because they feel paradoxical.

And that is exactly what it feels like to try something new with a beginner’s mind. The goal line shifts with knowledge, insight, and reflection.