What's true for me

right now?

How do I know what’s true for me?
Like… what is TRUE for me right now?

I’ve been thinking about this question a lot lately.

Not what was true for me ten years ago.
Not what is true when I listen to the outside noise.
Not what is true for the little girl programmed to be a certain way.
Not what is true for the young woman falling in love for the first time.
Not what the copywriter says is true for “the ideal” middle-aged woman.

Please. Tell me the secret to your inner knowing, because trusting my gut instinct has been a lifelong battle for me. That is the truest thing I can tell you right now.

I struggle to distinguish my voice from that of my friends, my family, my lover; from the truth of my past and the reality of my life in the present.

Having the freedom to be your most true self is the greatest gift. And I’m wondering: what am I holding onto that causes me to stay silent when everything inside me is screaming to be seen? Who would want me to be anything less than my most true self?

With a carefully curated, Instagrammable life, I’m the person who “has it all together.” But so often, inside, I feel like a fraud pretending to be her most authentic self; an impostor. I catch myself wondering how I can have integrity in social situations when I struggle to understand what is expected of me in any given moment.

I can’t be the only one. Do you battle this too?

Especially YOU, women. Especially YOU, caretakers. Especially YOU, high achievers -perfectionists, people pleasers.

I was taught to override my intuition since I was a little girl.
To say yes when it was actually a hard no.
To smile when I was pissed off.
To go along to get along.
To ask myself, “What would a man do in this situation?”
To serve, soothe, and manage what everyone else needed before I ever asked myself what I wanted.

Writing these words makes my body tense. My stomach tightens. My jaw clenches.

So it’s no wonder, here I am in midlife, asking:
What do I actually want?
What do I believe?
Who am I when someone isn’t telling me what to do or think?
Who am I without the roles I’ve been taught to play?

I used to think knowing myself meant having a clear five-year plan. A budget. Knowing exactly what I wanted, where I was going, and how to get there.
Now, I think that was just control disguised as certainty - a defense mechanism.

I am a process-over-product person, after all.

What I’m learning in this part of my life is that we do not have to have everything figured out. Much of life is learned through lived experiences. With others. Interacting. Failing forward. From the heart, not just our heads.

The process of becoming our most true and authentic selves is not linear. It is not logical. At least for me, it’s cyclical.

I am discovering my true self in relationship to others:
→ By making a choice and noticing how it feels.
→ By staying in the relationship or leaving it, and listening to what my body says in the quiet.
→ By taking the job, quitting the job, starting the thing, stopping the thing, and watching what energy rises or drains in me as I move through my choices.

Knowing what’s true for me is an ongoing conversation with myself about how I interact with others.

This week, I’m practicing by asking:

What is true for me right now — in this moment?
Not forever.
Not for anyone else.
Not what should be true.
Just what is.

Because that’s where freedom lives.
In the small, honest, quiet truths that make up a life that feels like your own.

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If you’re in a season of trying to hear your voice again, of letting go of who you were taught to be so you can become the most true version of yourself, I’d love to hear your story.

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And if you’re ready to explore how to build a life rooted in self-trust and clarity, I’m offering free Braveheart Brainstorm sessions this month.

No pressure. Just space to start again from the inside out/ outside in.

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